Dear
by randomrocker93
Summary: 'I was hoping that I'd be there on your birthday, but if you're reading this then I'm already gone. Love Daddy.' Intrigued? Then Read on.
1. Dear Jamie

**So I started writing this about two months ago, but just got round to finishing it. Hope you enjoy it.**

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><p>Dear Jamie – Age 10<p>

Today you turn ten. Double digits. I was hoping to be there on your birthday, but if you're reading this then I'm already gone. I'm sorry I couldn't be there, buddy. I hope you got the new video game that you asked for. I hope you like your cake, I picked it. I hope you enjoy your party. Don't be sad because I'm not there. Enjoy yourself, kid.

I want you to know that I am so proud of you. You are my only son. I still remember when your Mom told me that we were going to have a son. It was during the state championship game. We won that day, but you already know.

Take care of Lydia for me, please. She's only a baby and didn't get to know me for long. I know that you will protect her, cause you are a great big brother. I love you buddy.

Daddy.

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><p>Dear Jamie – Age 11<p>

Hi, son. I can't believe that you are eleven already. I still remember the day you were born. It was on my graduation day – the best day of my life. It will be a little over a year since I left, I hope you are doing okay. I know it will be hard, but I am always with you, son. I never wanted to leave you. Never. The cancer had already spread by the time I was diagnosed. I tried so hard, buddy. I did all the treatment that I was supposed to, but it was too late.

I'm not good at this writing thing, but I want you to know how much I love you. Stay strong Jamie.

Love Daddy.

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><p>Dear Jamie – Age 12<p>

Well, it's that time of year again, son. Happy birthday. How is life treating you? I hope you are happy. That's all I want for you. Do you still like baseball? I hope so. When you're finished reading this ask your Mom for the ball. She'll know what ball you're talking about. Talking about your Mother, how is she doing? I know that you are getting older but I hope you still give her a goodnight kiss and tell her how much you love her, she needs it. You are the man of the house now. Please look after your Mother and Lydia. Lydia must be getting big by now. Tell her about me, son. I don't want her to forget me. I know that you didn't get long with me either, 9 years just isn't enough, I get that. But Lydia was only 16 months old when I left. She won't remember her time with me. Teach her how to play basketball. We don't want her to be as bad as your Mom. Don't tell your Mom I said that, though. Anyway I have to go just now Lydia needs her diaper changed. I love you, buddy.

Dad.

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><p>Dear Jamie – Age 13<p>

Happy birthday. It's been three years now. I hope that it doesn't hurt any more. I know that I'm not there for all the big stuff, such as; Your fist shave, first real baseball game, first real girlfriend and even your graduation. I wish I could see you grow from a boy to a man. I want you to know that life can be hard sometimes, especially without a father, but you have to stay strong because it will get better. I made it through my tough times with the help and support from your Mom. She was my rock. I hope you find a girl who will support you and love you as much as your mother loved me. I also hope that when you do find the one that you will treasure every moment because you don't know when they could be ripped away from you. I hope that you will love someone as much as I love your Mom. I will always love your Mom. I know you will have had to grow up a lot in the past three years, so just take it easy, buddy. I love you.

Dad.

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><p>Dear Jamie – Age 14<p>

This year will be a big year for you. You will start high school. Enjoy it. It will seem never-ending and so tough at times, but stick with the people who love you and focus hard on your studies. It will fly by. When you graduate you will be wondering where the time has gone.

I hope you are doing good, son. I hope that you get everything you ever wished for. I hope you find love.

Can you do me a favor? Keep telling Lydia all about me. Don't let her forget me, please. She's old enough to watch the home videos now. Show her the one where you made your first basket. You were two years old and sitting on my shoulders, but I was so proud of you. I _am_ proud of you.

Happy birthday.

Love Dad.

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><p>Dear Jamie – Age 15<p>

It's that time again. I hope you look forward to receiving these letters. Like I've said before, I'm not good at this writing thing. But I want you to know how much I love you and how much I didn't want to leave. Cancer is an awful thing. It doesn't care about anyone. Thankfully, the kind I had is not genetic. I can't help but cry as I am writing this. I am trying not to hate myself for leaving you, Lydia and your Mom, but it's hard. I'm your daddy, I am supposed to see you grow up. I am supposed to watch you graduate. I am supposed to see you marry the girl of your dreams. I know that I am not there in in person but I am watching over you, always. I love you.

Dad.

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><p>Dear Jamie – Age 16<p>

Happy 16th birthday son. Wow. You are 16. I was 16 when I met your Mom. We were 16 when we got married. Then you came along a little while later. You are my greatest achievement. I couldn't have asked for a better son. I love you with all my heart. I remember when you took your first steps. You were so happy and so proud of yourself. I still remember your little laugh as you walked from me to your Mom. I remember when you first said 'Dadda' I must have been the happiest guy alive. Your Mama was just as happy, although I think the was wishing that you would have said Mama first. I remember your first day at school. Your little, smiley face as you turned to look at me, lit up my whole world. I could go on forever about all these amazing moments and milestones that I shared with you, but you are a man now and it is time to move on. Time to make new memories and maybe one day you will have a son or daughter of your own and you can make perfect memories together. Time goes by far too fast, so live in the moment and treasure it.

I have to go now, buddy. This will be the last letter. It's time to move on and you can't keep holding on to me this way. Have a good life and I will see you on the other side. I love you!

Daddy.

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><p><strong>Please review. If I get enough reviews then I will write one for Lydia and one for Haley if you want? xo<strong>


	2. Dear Lydia

**Thanks for the reviews. Here is a chapter for Lydia. Hope you enjoy.**

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><p>Dear Lydia - Age 6<p>

I know that you were 16 months old when I left and Jamie started getting letters almost immediately, but I figured that you wouldn't be able to read properly until about now. I know you won't understand why I left and you are too young to know right now, but I promise I will tell you one day. I want to apologize for leaving you. I never wanted to, so I am sorry baby girl.

Happy birthday princess. I hope you got the bike (or one similar, considering it has been 4 ½ years since I left) that I begged your Mom to get for your 6th birthday. I can't believe that you are 6 already. You will be starting 1st grade this year. I hope you enjoy yourself, kid. I'm sorry I can't be there for your first day, in person, but I will be watching over you princess.

I love you.

Daddy.

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><p>Dear Lydia– Age 7<p>

Happy birthday princess. So, you are a big 7 now. It will have been 5 ½ years since I left. Can you remember me? Do you remember how I would hold you up high and you would open your arms out as though you were flying? Do you remember when I tucked you in in your crib after reading you a bedtime story? Do you remember when I took you for a horse riding lesson, but they told us you were too young? You probably don't, but there are pictures and home videos with all of the moments that we shared together. Talking about horses, when you have read this go and ask your Mom to take you to pick out _your_ horse. Yes, that's right, you are going to get your own horse. You always loved to play with your little horse figures. I have to go in a minute, but before I do, do you remember how we used to dance? I would hold you in my arms and we would just dance. Then when you started walking, you would stand on my feet and we would dance around the room. Well, before I left Jamie made me a promise, that he would dance with you, for me. I hope he kept his promise. He is a good boy so I'm sure he would have. Anyway, I have to go now. Until next year, sweetheart. I love you.

Daddy.

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><p>Dear Lydia – Age 8<p>

Hi, sweetie. How are you doing? I know that it must be hard to grow up without a father, but please stay strong. I know I left when you were 16 months old, but I know how strong you are. When you were just hours old I gave you my finger to hold and your tiny hand grasped my finger so tight. In that moment I just wanted to hold you forever. I only got you for 16 months. You only had me for 16 short months. I am so sorry for leaving you. When your Mom and I found out we were having a girl, I cried. I always wanted a daughter. I am a proud father of two amazing children, I couldn't have asked for better. I know that I am not there for all the big, important stuff, but I will be watching over you. Always. Go and listen to 'My wish' by Rascal Flatts. This song explains everything that I want for you and Jamie. Give your Mama a kiss from me. Happy Birthday.

Love Daddy.

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><p>Dear Lydia – Age 9<p>

Happy 9th birthday. I hope you get everything you wished for, baby. How are you, Jamie and your Mom doing? I hope y'all are happy. That's all I want for the three of you. I asked Jamie to look after you, to protect you, but I need you to look after him too. Even if it is just giving him a hug and telling him that you love him. Same with your Mom, tell her everyday that you love her.

It's hard to believe that my little girl is 9 already. Time flies by so fast. I hope you remember me, but if you don't, then you have pictures and home videos. I asked Jamie to tell you about me. I also asked him to teach you how to play basketball, only if you want to of course. Basketball was my first love until I met your Mom. Your Mom and I got married when we were 16. I know that we were young, but we were in love. Jamie came along over a year later and it was tough, but we were happy. When you came along our family was complete, We had each other, a son and a daughter. Life was amazing. Then when you were 13 months old, I was diagnosed with Acute Myeloid Leukaemia. I tried so hard, baby. I did all the treatment that I could handle, but it was too late. I was already too sick. I wanted to stay, I did but caner doesn't care for no one. I believe that everything happen for a reason and sometimes we find the reason out and sometimes we don't. In this case, I can't figure out a reason whatsoever. What kind of reason could there be for leaving you and Jamie without a father and your Mom without a husband. Your Mom has been through a lot, so have you and Jamie. Y'all have to stick together. Nothing is more important than family and nothing is bigger than love.

I love you.

Dad.

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><p>Dear Lydia – Age 10<p>

Happy birthday. So, you have reached the big one – zero, double digits. I wish I could be there. Make a wish! I hope it comes true.

This will be the last letter for a while. There is one more, but I don't want you to be waiting for it. I want you to move on. You, Jamie and your Mom have to accept that I am not coming home. Move on as a family.

Before I go, I want you to know that life is hard, it is worth it in the end. Maybe one day you will fall in love and have a child of your own, someday. Remember that you are not allowed a boyfriend until you are 30! No, I am kidding. Enjoy yourself, kid. Okay, no boyfriends until you are at least 16. Don't try to grow up too fast, baby. Remember that everyone makes mistakes. Remember that everyone has flaws, but everyone is beautiful in their own way. Don't listen to society. I think you are beautiful.

Focus on your studies, school is important. High school is tough at times, but you can make it.

Remember that time flies by. Savor the moments. Live for today and not tomorrow.

I love you. Always.

Dad.

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><p>Dear Lydia – Age 16<p>

Happy sweet 16th, baby girl. I know that I haven't written to you in 6 years. So, I hope this doesn't hold you back and I hope that you haven't been waiting around for this letter. How have you been for the past 6 years? I hope you are enjoying school. You only have 2 years left. I hope you find love. Your Mom and I fell in love when we were only 16. I hope you fall in love with someone who loves you as much as I love your Mom.

This _will _be the last letter. As you are reading these last words from me, put on 'My wish' by Rascal Flatts - I want all of this for you. I want you to be happy. I know that I am not there in person, but I am in your heart and I am watching over you, princess.

My sweet baby girl, I love you! I will _always _love you. It's time to let go. Move on sweetheart. Keep smiling. Always help people. Forgive. Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game. I hope you dance, keep dancing princess. I will see you on the other side. I am saving a dance for you. Goodbye.

Love Daddy.

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><p><strong>Please review. Do you want a chapter for Haley? xo<strong>


	3. Dear Haley

Dear Haley

Hi darling. How are you keeping? By the time that you receive this letter, I will have been gone for one year. I hope you are well. I didn't want to leave you. I had no choice, but to give up. The cancer had already spread and the treatments were only making me sicker. I had no choice, but to give up and enjoy the time I had left with you, Jamie and Lydia.

I hope by now the pain of losing me has eased. I want you to be happy.

As you know, basketball was my first love. I thought I knew who I was and where I wanted to be in life, then I met you. You showed me that there is more to life than basketball. You taught me how to love and you helped me grow as a person. I know that we got married when we were just sixteen and that we struggled, a lot, but I want you to know that I wouldn't have changed a thing, because it only made our love stronger.

The day I married you, the day Jamie was born and the day Lydia was born, were the three best days of my life.

I love you, Hales. You taught me to believe. I want to thank you for everything that you did for me. Thank you for loving me.

I want you to remember me and the times that we shared, but I want you to let go. I'm not coming back. I know it must hurt to read that because it is hurting me writing it. It hurts knowing that I won't see your beautiful face again or that I won't see my kids grow up. I need you to accept that I won't be walking through the front door any moment. I want you to enjoy your life. Fall in love again. Go skydiving, baby, I know you always wanted to. Travel. Live your life. Stay strong. Be happy.

Please, give my kids a goodnight kiss from me, every night and tell them that I love them.

I love you, Haley, so much. You made me happy. I have to go now, but I will be with you wherever you go. I'll see you on the other side, my beautiful wife. I love you, always and forever!

Nathan.

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><p><strong>I am thinking about writing letters to Nathan from Jamie, Lydia and Haley. If you want me to write them, tell me in the reviews :)xo<strong>


	4. Dear Nathan

**Sorry for taking forever with this. Been going through a lot and just didn't feel like writing. Hope you enjoy this. The letter to Nathan from Lydia and Jamie will be up soon. I won't leave you waiting again. I promise! **

Dear Nathan

It's Haley. I got your letter. I'm not going to lie, I feel horrible. Even though it's been over three years since you left and the initial sting is not there, I am still in pain over losing you. I am broken. I miss you. I feel like a part of me is gone, which it is – you are. I know that you are not coming back, but I don't think I will ever get over losing you.

I don't know if you can see or hear me and I know you will never read these words, but I am writing to you anyway.

At first when you passed away, I was angry with you. I was angry because you just gave up. You stopped fighting. I know that the treatments were hard and only made you sicker, but I keep thinking what if you had tried it one more time, what if that last time had saved you? I know I have to stop thinking like that and maybe one day I will. I just hope you can forgive me for being angry with you. I am sorry.

When you left I fell apart. I was lost without you. I _am _lost without you. I practically neglected our kids. I didn't mean to shut them out. I love those kids with all that I am. But for some reason I couldn't face them. I did this strange thing where I would buy a bottle of Vodka every Monday and every Friday. I never drank any of it, but instead I sat the bottles in a circle around the piano. I have no idea why. I guess I was out of my mind. Bottle number nine – Lucas and Peyton came and took Jamie and Lydia to live with them. Bottle number thirteen – I realised that I couldn't live without my kids, so I threw all thirteen bottles away, went to Lucas and Peyton's house, thanked them for taking care of our kids and then took them home where they belong. I wasn't the only one hurting, Jamie and Lydia lost their father. They needed me.

It's been three years now since you left. I still feel broken at times but Jamie and Lydia help me through. I will stay strong for them, always.

I got your letter a year after you passed away. I was really happy with it. You put a lot of thought into it. Jamie loves the letters he receives on his birthday and Brooke said there are some for Lydia too, but she won't receive them until she turns six.

There is one really important thing that you don't know. About two weeks after I took Jamie and Lydia home, I found out I was pregnant. I did not know how to feel. I decided to keep the baby, knowing that it was our last miracle together. It is not only Jamie and Lydia who keep me going, but our other son.

Kyle Nathan Scott arrived exactly eight months after you passed away. He is beautiful, Nathan. He is a little over two years old now. He is exactly like you with his dark brown hair and gorgeous blue eyes. He has your smile too. Jamie is great with him, and Lydia. Jamie has kept his promise he made you. He is always telling Lydia and Kyle about you. Whenever Kyle sees a photo of you he immediately says 'Dadda.' He may never have met you, but he knows all about you and he always will. I'll make sure of it.

I know you said you wanted me to move on and to fall in love again, but I don't think I am ready for that, yet. I don't know if I ever will be. I can never find another you. I could **never **replace you. You were my everything. My first love.

Nathan Scott, I love you. I will always love you. You taught me how to love, how to live. You gave me the three most beautiful gifts ever – our three wonderful kids; Jamie, Lydia and Kyle. I am forever grateful for you. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for everything.

P.S – Happy Birthday, baby.

Goodbye Nathan. I love you. Always wand forever.

Your Haley xo

**Also there will be a letter from Kyle to Nathan coming soon. **


	5. Dear Dad From Jamie

Dear Dad.

Happy birthday dad.

It's been a little over six years since you passed away. I am sixteen now. I cannot believe how fast the time goes. Lydia will be eight in one month and Kyle will be six in just under three months.

I received your letters. On my sixteenth, I got the last letter. It's kind of bitter-sweet. In a way I would love to receive a letter every year for the rest of my life. But I know you couldn't do that and I cannot continue to live like this. By 'this' I mean, waiting every year for a letter from my dead dad. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh. Don't get me wrong, the letters were definitely the highlight of each year. But while my friends were planning birthday parties, I was too focused on receiving a letter from you. I love that you took the time to write them and a lot of planning must have gone into them. But like you said, I have to move on now.

Moving on will be hard. I've been trying for six years. I think it might be easier to move on now that you told me to in my last letter. I know it's what you want. I know you don't want me to hang around waiting for you to come back, because you are not coming back. I know that now.

I met someone. A girl. Her name is Spencer Eden and she is so beautiful. I know that we are young, but we are the same age as you and Mom when you got married. I'm not saying we are going to get married any time soon, but we have been together for a year now and I have never felt this way about anyone. She completes me. She makes everything easier. She is helping me move on.

I will never forget you Dad. I will always love you and I will always miss you. I won't let Lydia forget you and I will continue to tell Kyle about you. Even though he has never met you, he adores you. Mom is doing pretty good. She has her hands full with Lydia and Kyle, but I help her out a lot. She still hasn't found anyone else. I don't think she is quite ready yet. No one can ever replace you, but I just want Mom to be happy and if that means falling in love again, then so be it. I know you love Mom, but I also know the kind of man you are and I know it's what you would want too.

I want you to know that I am not, nor was I angry with you because you stopped the treatments. I remember the pain you went through, I remember how ill you got during treatments and you did it all for Lydia, Mom and me. You were a great man. I couldn't have asked for a better father to have raised me. You taught me most of what I know. I am so grateful for having you in my life. If I grow up to be half the man you were, then I know I have done good – you have done good.

I have to go now. I don't know where life will take me, but I hope I do you proud. I love you so much daddy.

Jamie.

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><p><strong>I hate begging for reviews, but I got 2 reviews on the last chapter. I have a lot of people reading these and I am so grateful for you all who do, but when I receive 2 reviews on a chapter, it makes me not want to update anymore. So please review. xo<strong>


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